Common Household Pest
by Xerrine
Summary: Even celebrities have deal with general, everyday vermin. One-shot.


**Title:** Common Household Pest

**Disclaimer: **Don't own, never will.

**Pairing(s):** Tatsuha/Ryuichi, Shuichi/Eiri.

* * *

"Tatsuha!" The plea raised steadily into a whine, as the famous singer drew himself tighter into a ball, a beseeching look thrown together with it in my direction. "Get rid of that, thing."

Now, I'll never deny something from my god, but this is a different situation altogether. I merely returned the plea with a perplexed expression; does he honestly think I'll risk it?

Granted, the both of us look pretty silly, what's with him sitting on top of the counter and me curled up on table. His hands brushed against the knobs of the stove, which he was sitting directly next to.

I seriously hope he wouldn't set his pretty ass on fire before we get out of this dilemma.

This isn't the time to get distracted, as I shook my head to clear my thoughts, chewing on my bottom lip thoughtfully as I thought about the situation.

I bet most of you are pretty confused by now, so I'll start my story from this morning.

I came to Tokyo for a week or so, after all, it's the holidays, and I for one am not interested in staying at home and behaving like the proper son while carrying out my father's every whim and wish.

Or maybe I just want annoy the fuck out of my brother, or threaten, I mean, request Shuichi to let me tag along to the studio for a chance to see my god.

So, moving on.

Shuichi agreed to let me go along with him to N-G studios this morning. Eiri couldn't be happier, according to him; I'm just as bad as a hindrance as Shuichi is. Having both of us gone for the day is bliss for my older brother.

The early parts of the day passed comfortably, I hung out with the members of Bad Luck for most of the time, listening as they went through the process of recording songs for their new album.

I'm a hardcore Nittle Grasper fan, but I'm fond of Bad Luck too, their styles are pretty similar to some extent, after all. Before I knew it, noon had rolled along, and it was only when Shuichi invited me to join them out for lunch, did I remember what was my original intention of coming in the first place.

Ryuichi Sakuma.

"Oh, Ryuichi? He left for home about an hour ago."

I could have happily throttled the tall American bearing the news. Actually, I did. I tackled the blonde manager right there and then, screeching at the top of my voice about why the hell didn't anyone inform me earlier.

Not surprisingly, I stopped less than a minute later. Note to self; make sure you have the right equipment when threatening someone. I mean, come on, he had a fucking magnum to my temples, while I only had my bare hands.

Anyway, I mourned and threw a tantrum for several minutes, there was my big chance of meeting my god, only to be told I missed him by an hour. A fucking hour, god. It took a good five minutes for Shuichi to coax me out of my depression, and drag me out with them for lunch.

Guess whom we met at the elevator?

No, not Ryuichi Sakuma, however much I hoped.

My brother-in-law. The one and only Touma Seguchi. Standing in the elevator with a vaguely surprised look at me. Holding a pink bunny in his arms.

A pink bunny. Kumagoro.

"Shindou, it seems that Ryuichi had forgotten about this, would you mi-"

"I'll return it!"

It took the group of them several minutes to realize I had grabbed the soft toy, raced down the stairs of the building and started on my righteous journey to return my god his beloved rabbit.

Only to sheepishly call Shuichi seconds later requesting for my god's address, who passed the cell to my brother-in-law, who testily informed me god can be found by taking a long walk off a short plank.

A couple of lectures on inappropriate behavior later, Touma had begrudgingly revealed to me Ryuichi Sakuma's address, with my promise that I would, in no way, molest the older celebrity.

I found the apartment door unlocked. Who in the world would leave their front door unlocked? A pervert might come along any minute and devour Ryuichi right there and then, doesn't the guy have any sense of safety?

Honestly.

I let myself in after knocking several times on the unlocked door, which achieved no response at all, except for a whimper that came from the kitchen. Naturally, being curious, that was the first room I explored.

To find my god perched tentatively on the kitchen counter. I mentally drooled at the long expanse of legs snugly clad in skin fitting jeans, drawn up to curl gracefully away from the floor.

"Tatsuha! Thank god! There's this- Kumagoro! I thought I lost him!" Ryuichi interrupted himself when he caught sight of the bunny clutched in my arms, and for a second, looks as if he was going to launch himself from the counter to get to his beloved rabbit.

No such luck.

"Ryuichi-," I began, walking forward to return the soft toy to its owner.

"No! Don't come in! There's this rat somewhere about," Ryuichi held up his arms as if to ward me off, trying to dissuade me from coming further into the kitchen. "It's huge, stay safe, Tatsuha!" He emphasized the size of the rodent, holding his hands apart to give me an approximate measurement of the pest.

"Don't be silly, Ryuichi. There's no su- Holy fucking god! What the fuck is that thing! Ryuichi! What in the world are you keeping in your kitchen?"

And so here I am, together with my god in a pitiful attempt to escape the world's largest rodent. It's not funny, I swear, the thing is humongous. I don't even want to know why it's in Ryuichi's kitchen in the first place.

"Tatsuha! Stop spacing out and think of something!"

Right. End of flashback.

I grimaced at the rebuke, shifting from my perch on the kitchen table to relieve the cramp starting on my calf. I gave a vexed huff at the imploring look, what does he expect me to do? Leap down and challenge the creature to a fight with a frying pan?

I don't think so.

With my lack of cooperation, the great Ryuichi Sakuma sulked as I refused to take on the pest.

Oh, and he looked absolutely adorable while sulking, by the way.

"Say, maybe I can-" Ryuichi started, pushing the window near the counter open.

"No!" I protested, lunging forward to grab him by the ankle with one hand, nearly overbalancing myself from the kitchen's table as I did so.

"Famous celebrity plunge to death in an attempt to escape from common household pest, I don't think so." I objected with vigor, my grip tightening in fear he might actually decide to escape via the window.

"I was going to say call the neighbors for help," Ryuichi replied with a bewildered expression at my exclamation.

"Oh. Well. Sorry." Mortified, I loosened my grip and arranged myself back onto the table, my cheeks flamed a deep crimson hue in humiliation.

Silence ensued as both of us tried to think of a solution, only to end up looking woefully at one another.

It was well into the night before Touma arrived at the scene, worried that I had somehow taken advantage of his band mate, only to find the both of us perched pathetically on the kitchen furniture.

"Just, what are the two of you doing?"

Both of us immediately started blabbering about the accursed rat, explaining the situation and urging the N-G president to seek shelter.

With a disgruntled sigh, the Nittle Grasper keyboardist proceeded to search the entire kitchen, opening all cupboards and cabinets.

No rat.

The little bugger must have ran out while the two of us was mourning about our demise.

Not that I'm complaining, I can safely brag I spent the entire afternoon and half of the night alone with my god in the kitchen.

It had been a fine day, indeed.

* * *

_- Xerrine_


End file.
